Allergy Anxiety & causes

When living with allergies, it goes without saying that there will always be anxiety to some degree, so whether you are an allergy sufferer or guardian of someone with allergies, then the likely hood is you live with this anxiety and fear of a reaction every day. It could be anxiety of having a severe reaction, fear regarding treating a reaction or an underlying anxiety about cross contamination or distrust of others preparing your food.

If, like me, you have seen a loved one endure a reaction, or had a reaction yourself, you will know how frightening it is. There an array of emotions that come to play when navigating allergens and daily life with allergies, but when you need to venture out of your home, it can be a daunting process.

For me personally, I have young children, who cannot tell me fully (and are somewhat unaware) that they are having a reaction, so even at dinner time when I have made their food and know its safe for them, any sudden cry or shriek set me on edge, and this is even worse should we ever dine out. 

I find myself checking mouths for hives, asking a million times 'is your mouth itchy?', pulling the Auto injector out my bag, just in case, and having my phone on standby - I have been called paranoid before and I  am sure I am not the only one living this way.

Since my eldest had their anaphylactic reaction to nuts in 2022, I have this fear constantly of eating out and check every menu or take food everywhere. I have not been the same and neither have they, we now have a child who has become more reserved when it comes to food. New foods to try - off the cards, we have food rejection, issues with food texture, fear of injectors & medicines, a distrust in us a parents when going to appointments and avoidance when asked if a reaction is happening.

being clear, my husband and I do struggle with these, and life will be much easier when our children have more understanding, but we work with the factor we can control. Factors like checking labels and menus, bringing medications with us everywhere, being a clear voice for our children about their allergies, boosting them up about their allergies by making things clear to them and generally supporting them as best we can.

The factors we do find the hardest to cope with are those we cannot control, like cross contamination in non home venues, bumping into a hidden allergens, sudden reactions (thankfully we've not had one to nuts since, but Milk and Eggs, yes!), other peoples attitudes towards allergies and the biggest, how our children are made to feel about their reactions.

Every child is different and it can be difficult to identify anxiety, specially when they are young, as they could be experiencing a patch of child development, like teething, regression or starting school. 

Some children may display some of the below symptoms, but not be experiencing anxiety and some children may experience anxiety, but not any of the below.

Common symptoms of anxiety to look out for are:

• Meltdowns or emotional Outbursts
• Restlessness
• Irritability
• Refusal to go to School, eat foods, wanting to stay home
• Become extra clingy to a particular person on item
• Fear of trying new things, not necessarily food related
• Worrying
• Sleep Issues
• Fidgeting or Pacing
• Sweating 
• Avoiding activities, tasks or places 
• Fixation on a particular tasks
• Stomach ache or troubles
• Headaches
• Increased Heart rate
• Panic Attacks    

Having a little loved one (or not so little loved one) with with an allergy can be an emotional and physical rollercoaster. If you're like me, do you find your brain never really switches off, when it comes to allergies? It can feel like you are constantly on edge as if constantly living in fight or flight mode. 

Life can be full on, with appointments, meal prep, allergy avoidance, providing safe alternatives, being prepared with medications & treatments and trying to be one step ahead at all times. It's exhausting! But you also have this little person who needs you to be strong and support them emotionally as well.  

Despite having your hands full, it is important to notice signs of anxiety in yourself and if able to, help get them under control, the last thing you want is having to deal with symptoms of anxiety in a reaction situation (I have definitely been there, and I was all over the place) and lose time or make an error issuing medication. Take deep breathes if you feel yourself panicking, focus and try to rationalize if you can. 

And if you can ask for help, then do not be afraid to ask and give instructions to people who are helping not medically trained or experienced.  

Common symptoms of anxiety to look out for are:

• Lack of concentration
• Restlessness
• Irritability
• Worrying
• Sleep Issues
• Itching skin or skin problems like Eczema or Acne
• Dizzy spells or light headedness
• Nausea
• Fidgeting or pacing
• Sweating or hot flushes
• Avoiding activities, tasks or places because of your childs allergy
• Stomach ache or troubles
• Headaches and/or backaches
• Increased Heart rate
• Panic Attacks    

This is a big one for us, since having their Anaphylactic reaction my eldest particularly avoids foods that are new and will ask if they are 'safe'. 

Any food we have at dinner time has become a game of 'yes food, no food', we are currently on a diet of only 20 odd food items that actually get eaten right now. My little one has one particular snack that gets everyday and if it's not available hell breaks loose.

I can say for sure that my children have 'safe foods' that they rely on and feel safe eating. We are finding it difficult introducing new foods, which is why I needed to play it strategic and find recipes that I can hide fruits and vegetables in to ensure they are getting the nutrition they need.

Food refusal can be out of fear of trying a new food, from having a previous reaction or even from the fear of having a reaction. It's important to reassure your little one, as best you can, you have made it safe for them and keep adding this onto their plate to familiarize them with the look of it without the pressure. Letting them see you eat it can also help reassure them it's okay and your are with them on the journey.

I find the more I push, the harder it is to win them over. For children who can read, you can show them the ingredients list showing them it doesn't contain their allergen, letting them see for themselves or asking for their help in making the dish trying one ingredient at a time. 

This ties in to the above,  and similarly goes hand in hand. With food allergies in particular it is so easy for us and our children to see their allergen as really bad, scary and dangerous (which is a normal reaction). But the detrimental affect having an allergic reaction has on our children and their relationship with food is huge. 

It can increase anxiety around a particular food, or foods that contained their allergen, meaning they feel the need to avoid whole food groups or reduce that amount they eat in general. They may take much longer to eat their food than prior to a reaction or may sniff food before trying. It could turn into refusing a particular food or even refusing food altogether. 

This then makes it harder for care givers to  ensure your child is getting what they need nutritionally, continue to have positive food relationships and lower anxiety around food altogether. Of course we want to continue to be aware of allergens and by no means lax in allergen vigilance, however when food is made in a safe environment i.e. at home, you want children to understand precautions have been taken to make them safe. So having them learn their allergen and show them cooking processes may help them to understand you have their best interests in hand.

Supplements are also a good to helping them get vital minerals and vitamins, alongside fortified products for additional iron, iodine, calcium etc. at mealtimes. For older children getting them to make a meal or for little one getting them to chop up ingredients can help them to explore ingredients on their own free will and may result in them trying foods whilst helping, it helps to familiarize them with safe ingredients that they can recognize and when brave enough try, especially if these become a regularly seen ingredient.

Seeing a Doctor isn't something adults particularly enjoy doing, so children are bound to not like the idea either. But when you have so many appointments, specialists and procedures to go to it can be filled with long wait times, little ones being pulled, poked and prodded, lots of strange faces and aren't the nicest experiences for them, although we've seen many lovely specialists all great with children, my children don't like the hospital itself. 

If you have had a child who has been hospitalized due to their allergy, this one may hit home. The trauma from not only being in hospital, but the machinery & monitoring devices, the needles, the nasty tasting medications and the stays away from home, will inevitably cause a fear of treatment.

Whenever we go to the Doctors, my children (mostly my eldest) freak out, and I mean full on meltdown, because they have both had skin tests, food challenges and my eldest was kept in after anaphylaxis in 2022. So just mentioning the word Doctor creates disruption in our household and bribery is needed. 

This in turn can create anxiety about needing treatment for a reactions before they even occur, resulting in children being reluctant to tell an adult if they are experiencing symptoms and refuse even treatments when needed. It can very difficult for adults to navigate such behavior in potentially life threatening situations and rely on you to be vigilant in order to confirm a reaction is happening. Times like these call for deep breathes, gut instinct and lots of reassurance to the child. 

As mentioned before if you need help, do not be afraid to ask for it, even if it's a stranger, security guard or another parent, I would like to think when you need it, you'll be helped. Also don't be afraid to direct a situation, if you need an ambulance, you tell someone to call and what to say, be the one in charge when needed or if you need to take over then tell them to do so.

I have found explaining to my children why they need their medicines, what causes their reactions and what they might feel if they feel 'poorly' has helped somewhat, especially when mild reactions occur and a dose of antihistamines are required. My eldest does know about the Auto Injector, what it it for and we have a practice pen that we get out every no and then to 'practice' on each other and show them it keeps them safe and aim for them not to be afraid of it if ever the time comes to use it.

This relates to both food and non food allergies and is for Children and adults alike. Exclusion and Isolation are horrible for any of us, but when you have allergies it's even worse, as you are being left out for no choice of your own.

I have found some amazing people who go out of their way to cater for my childrens allergies (although I always bring food, alternatives and medication everywhere we go), however I have experienced my children being actively excluded right in front of my eyes due to their allergies. 

It was so hard for me to watch and I decided that was not our place to be anymore. *In context I wasn't advised about a decoration activity to provide an alternative to use,  but my children weren't thought of and literally got shooed away! They knew my children were there and couldn't eat what they were making, but I arrived early before the activity was over and saw what happened, luckily I had something on me for an alternative and raised the issue and they managed to have a turn.* It may seem petty, but it made me feel sad for them and me angry at their exclusion of an activity so many others were doing.

As a parent, I myself have found the 'Allergy Topic' being dismissed or minimalized, because others don't want to discuss or understand our situation. As a family we have been excluded from parties and other meet ups as 'they cannot guaranty cross contamination', ultimately for me it feels not we were not able to make the decision to choose if we would take the risk to attend and supply our own alternatives.

I wonder if this is a feeling you have felt? These scenarios make me have more questions than answers to how my childrens future will be. We eventually need to navigate things like schools, sleepovers and holidays, and it gets me thinking about what else my children will miss. I just don't want my children to feel isolated or be bullied because they have allergies and thinking of such things evokes raw upsetting emotions in me as a parent.

There are lots of things that children can be or feel excluded from due to their allergies (depending on what  their allergies are) some things are: Parties, sampling foods at school, trick or treating, swimming, gardening, dining out, easter egg painting, baking (outside home), some science experiments, school trips or overnight stays and even some craft activities. *our Hidden Allergies Page can help relate to some of these activities*

This can lead to children lashing out, isolating themselves, have increased anxiety, feeling upset, experiencing loneliness, having reduced confidence and potentially lead to depression. So if you are worried about exclusion, talk to your childs setting or school to put your thoughts across and discuss alternatives with them, talk to your child about their feelings and if they feel they are being treated fairly.

However I am hopeful and optimistic, the world is changing and allergies are becoming a topic of discussion everywhere. I hope that eventually allergy sufferers will be able to find affordable products and alternatives  without having to be asked a million questions or be cautioned. Where discussions about allergies are open and understood, and allergies no matter how mild are taken seriously and not as a 'fad', 'trend' or 'diet'.

Just writing this bit up, hold on.......